a tin foil hat

W. has a co-worker who is… well, how should I put it? a bit quirky… weird…. He eats soap.

Yes, seriously, a tablespoon of Borax Soap every single day. I can’t imagine what that would do to a person… what it does to him. W. mentioned this randomly to me one day and I thought well, maybe he likes the taste of it or maybe it’s one of those odd cravings… I dunno.

Then the emails started to come.

Serious articles or silly jokes, I couldn’t decide. The benefits of eating soap, alien control, mind controlling hidden messages on the cover of magazines… that sort of thing and that’s just the beginning.

Apparently this guy wears copper in his shoes and tin foil in his hat. Yup, serious about that too. Something about government mind control and aliens… think Matrix.

I keep thinking this very special person just missed his spaceship. Halebop and the Heaven’s Gate peeps come to mind. Nikes, black sweatshirts and sweatpants… so many similarities there.

I try not to laugh, really I do.

W. says he is a genuinely nice guy and doesn’t mind his company and conversation. He says he has some thought provoking ideas and theories, but at times has a hard time keeping a straight face himself. I’m sure he is a nice guy, differences of thought and idea certainly do not make a person not nice. Weird maybe, but I’d say we are all a little weird in our own way.

Where am I going with this?

About two weeks before Blakeroo was born, I noticed a sort of ringing in my right ear. I wouldn’t say it is so much a ringing as it sounds like two different radio frequencies randomly switching back and forth. I hear it constantly. I’ve of course taken steps to eliminate the sound, all to no avail. It’s irritating to say the least and there have been moments that I have wondered if I was beginning to go mad.

Then one very very, very late night (you know that hour when everything and everyone is so ridiculously funny even though it’s all really not, but you are so beyond tired that you hysterically and obnoxiously laugh at it all anyway until you pee your pants? yes, one of those late nights) W. and I decided to test his co-worker’s theory that the government just might be attempting to control my mind. 

Our defense... aluminum foil.

I will be quite honest, a teeny weeny teensy tiny part of me wanted to believe and hoped that the tin foil would do the trick and I’d be free at last from this most annoying noise. If it did I swore I’d put some stock into the things "Soap Eater" had to say. Hey, maybe Borax is good for the intestines…

Needless to say, it didn’t work and that same teeny weeny teensy tiny part of me was disappointed.

On the bright side, I now have my very own tin foil hat.

(there is suppose to be a picture of me wearing my shiny tin foil hat *here* but W.'s lame phone is being... lame)